Get to know me and some of my secrets

Most people in my life and on social media don't really know much about me. I tend to hide who I am to most people and never really let my hair down. I keep most of my feelings inside and don't talk much when I probably should. I want to connect with people through this blog, and to do that I have to be honest. So here we go..

• I have major confidence issues - For the last year I have been meeting with a lady/or two who try to get me to 'go out and find friends' which hasn't worked. I have never fit in with a group, not properly anyway; so now I've decided that I'm better off without friends (lol sad life.) I used to love going out and meeting new people and I had all the confidence in a world, but once I became a mum I got so attached to being a mum and I guess I lost track of who I was.
• I grew up wanting my own family - a husband and 3 children. I got my husband 'to be', a beautiful daughter and a precious baby boy on the way. For me it turned out better than how I imagined it. I probably won't get my 3rd child, but that's okay because what I have is more then enough and I couldn't be more grateful!
• I'm an online window-shopaholic! I spend hours and hours searching the internet (at the moment for baby clothes.) Always trying to find the best deals out there. I never actually have the money to buy any of it, so it just sits in my wishlist.
• If I want something - I tend to not give up until I get it. I'd consider myself a very persistent person, and once I get my heart set on something - it's hard to change my mind.
• I go through stages where I suffer from anxiety attacks, normally when I'm out on my own and somebody starts talking to me. People must think I'm so rude lol. One time I went to a parenting group and cried the whole way home because of how awkward I am.
• I/Amelia have a house rabbit called Daisy. He was born on Amelia's first birthday and he was sort out a moving in gift to myself. I class his as Amelia's pet because she just loved him. We was told he was a girl, until he was over a year old and my brother in law found his bits..
• Some of my favourite things are photography, coffee, fishing trips with my boyfriend, my daughter telling me she loves me, blogging (of course), being out in the sun, slippers and days when I think I look good.
• If I have tea any time after about 6pm, I will be up ALL night going to the toilet!
• I grew up with an illness called Cyclical vomiting syndrome - I spend a lot of my childhood in hospital because of this, but grew out of it at the age of about 12?
• I am SO lazy!! I hate doing house work, especially the dishes. Recently I've done a lot more around the flat as I've been trying to get everything ready for Ezra to arrive, but I really should get off my bum more.
• I'm actually quite a stupid person - I try and act clever but it doesn't really work. Like I said before, I spent a lot of my childhood in hospital so I missed a lot of school - then when I was older I choose to not go to school (I was a rebel back in the days) and that's resulted in me really not knowing much, I know the basics but I'm awful at maths, AWFUL and don't ask me anything about geography because you will probably get the thickest answer lol. Now if I want to know something, I use the internet for research.
• I pretty much taught myself everything I know about photography - I started off researching online and taking notes/making documents and practising with my camera, then my mum and my partner got me an online photography course and I learnt so much from there!
• I grew up always being blonde, I am meant to be blonde. Right now the top half of my head is a light brown colour? I decided I couldn't afford to keep bleaching my hair so I would let it grow out. I'm pretty sure that I will be putting some blonde back into it soon, not bleached but a natural light colour.
• One day in the (hopefully near) future we plan on moving away to live in Kent. This will be such a big step for us, and I feel so ready to take it but we have decided to wait until we are financially stable first. Our first need was a car which we now have but with another baby on the way and Amelia starting nursery, it isn't the best time at the moment.
• I watch Hollyoaks and Eastenders every day and they are the only programmes that I'm really interested in.
  
  I'm sure theres lots more but I had to walk to the shop half way through posting this so have lost my flow. If there's anything you would like to know then pop a comment in the box and I'll reply :)