Being a mum of two..

As everybody who follows my blog knows, I haven't written a post since before Ezra was born.. This is because towards the end of my pregnancy (feeling like a whale and counting down the days until the pregnancy was over) I completely lost all motivation to get up and do my weekly bump photos and eventually found myself not even wanting to write out posts. I tried over and over to get myself to write up our birth story (which will come) but it took me a while to get my head around the whole birth/recovering process. The birth went well, considering they fact that it didn't go how I planned and there was a complication with my epidural and I ended up being in hospital for 4/5 days, which I will also explain in our birth story when I eventually write it.

So it's been 12 weeks today since Ezra was born, 3 months of being a mother of two amazing children. People always used to say 'it's much harder with two' and 'you're going to have your hands full' and yes, in some ways it is a bit more stressful having two children but the fact that I have a beautiful son and Amelia finally has a little buddy makes all of that stress seem like it's nothing. Since having Ezra I have never been so happy. I have waited for a son. Having lost two before having him, it makes me so grateful to have him here with me today! He is just perfect in so many ways and I can honestly say that being a mum of two is a million times better than just having the one. I feel as though my finally is complete, even though I always wanted 3 kids. I'm so settled with Paul, like never before and everything feels how it should.

It took quite a long time for Amelia to adjust. As I was in hospital for a few days and she didn't really see me, when I came home she just wanted Daddy. I was from then associated as 'Ezra's mummy' and if anybody else was holding him Amelia would tell them to give him back to me and hold her instead. I couldn't show her much attention when Ezra was first born because he was so clingy and ate what felt like 24/7. Now though she has come to terms with the fact that she is no longer our only baby and that she has to share us with Ezra. Her behaviour and sleeping pattern has become horrendous since Ezra was born, but I'm sure eventually that will settle back down (she is a threenager after.) When Ezra hears her voice his face just lights up and I can't wait for them to be able to properly play and giggle together.

I feel when I had Amelia, even though it was what I wanted - Perhaps I was too young, as I felt restricted from life and at times didn't appreciate her like I should have. But it's completely different with Ezra and I feel so good within myself since he has been born. I still love them both the same, it was just a complete different experience.