Ezra's Birth Story

As people who follow my blog will know, I haven't written a post in months. I stopped having the motivation to blog towards the end of my pregnancy and since having Ezra I have been too busy enjoying my journey, being a mum of two. I put too much of my time into blogging before, but I just don't have that time anymore. Writing my blog helps me to take grasp of my life and when I sit here remembering things to type up or reading posts that I have published, I seem to appreciate everything that happens day to day. I prefer typing to talking, so for me it can act as a journal or diary even.. I feel I need to reconnect with my blog again, so I'm going to start with Ezra's birth story as most people still don't know what happened when Ezra was born and it's something that I feel I should have spoken about as it's something that means a lot to me..

On the 7th June 2015 I was exactly 1 week overdue and had an appointment at the hospital to have a sweep done. During the process she told me that my cervix was soft but still really far back (it has to come down before baby can come.) Having the sweep caused me so much pain and I was dragging myself up the bed crying, then decided that it was too painful and I asked her to stop. I knew the chances of it working were low, especially as the midwife didn't even manage to do it properly as I was in a lot of pain..So I went home a very heartbroken, pregnant mother with an induction letter in my hand and appointment booked.

The next morning I was woken up to what I felt was my waters going. It was only a little bit so I put on a pad and went back to sleep. I then felt it again so I rung my mum to keep her informed (she was having Amelia) and then I rung the hospital. They told me to take my time to do my bits and then make my way in. We had breakfast and I checked my hospital bag to make sure I had everything and off we went. It was probably about 9.30 that we arrived at the hospital - I was examined but the midwife couldn't see any waters so I was basically told to go home, but as I sat up some more came out. The midwife checked my waters and told me the news.. Ezra had done a poo inside of me, which Amelia did too. But because I wasn't contracting, I had to be induced. Both of my pregnancies I dreamed of a water birth in a relaxing room with no drama. I remember just crying, and feeling so disappointed and scared by the fact that it wouldn't go how I had planned, and that I had to be induced instead of it happening naturally.

After a couple of hours from the drip being put up, I started very bad contractions and started crying yet again because I was scared of having an epidural (which didn't work properly when I had it with Amelia) but Paul and the midwife convinced me that it was for the best that I had it so I went ahead with it. The anaesthetist that done my epidural told me that he thought there may have been an accident while he was putting it in, and that there could be a hole in my spinal fluid sack but I wouldn't know until after the epidural had worn off. I was only allowed my epidural to be topped up by a consultant after that as they were worried.

A few more hours pass and include a few top ups of epidural and gas & air. Everything the epidural wore off I started panicking as the pain took my breath away. Paul was there holding my hands and helping me breath through the pain and was so strong for me. Literally wouldn't have wanted anybody else by my side, he was truly my rock. After about 6 hours (I think) of contractions I suddenly felt a sensation down below, I started to panic as I felt like I couldn't control what was happening to me. Everybody kept asking me if I felt like I needed to push, but I couldn't stop myself pushing it was just happening. The midwife had a look and said she could see the babies head, she was about to clock off but decided to stay and deliver our baby as she had been with us through the whole labour.

At just before 8pm I started pushing, on purpose.. I felt quiet relaxed, as I knew this part was fine. I was in control of delivering my baby into the world, I pushed at my pace with Paul by my side helping me through. I felt every single thing, the epidural must of worn off but I was using the gas and air to help me with the pushing and every time Ezra's head moved down I could feel it.

At 8.04pm on the 8th June Ezra David Dodge-Saunders was born weighing 8lb14oz.

He took about 20-30 seconds to start crying, but I knew he was okay straight away. The second he was put onto me I just felt so proud, the man I love and myself had made two perfect children, and I felt so complete. When I had Amelia I had to go to surgery to have my placenta removed, and I knew there was a chance it could happen again. After 5-10 minutes of pushing to try and get it out, I started to panic thinking it was happening again, but the midwife worked her magic and eased it out and I was cleaned up.

Paul had to leave not long after he was born, so I started breastfeeding Ezra and tried to get myself dressed. Just as Paul left I started to notice that something wasn't right, I was trying to dress Ezra but I just couldn't move. I didn't get to dress either of my kids for the first time, and I hate that. One of the nurses dressed Ezra for me and I was taken up to the ward. As the night went on I just got worse, my head started pounding and I couldn't move my neck, arms and I could barely pick Ezra up. I was dosed up on painkillers and the next day after I broke down because I was in so much pain and couldn't look after Ezra, the midwife took him to settle him and they realised what was wrong with me. The epidural had gone wrong, and my spinal fluid was leaking causing the headaches and stiffness. I was pretty much bed bound for 4 days and could only move when I was highly dosed on painkillers. The midwives would come and latch Ezra onto my boob and when he was done they would put him back into his cot, I felt so useless but honestly spent most of my time sleeping and I really needed that.

Day 4 in the hospital and I was taken down to surgery to have a blood patch - they took blood out of my arm, put an epidural into my spine and slowly put the blood into my back. This was the second most horrible experience of my life (the first was the surgery after having my daughter) but I knew after I would start feeling better. I had to lay flat on my back for a few hours and eventually started to feel better.

The next day I was finally allowed home, with my bag of painkillers.. But our family was finally together, and I had never been more happy to be home.

Paul, Amelia, Ezra & Myself ❤